Star Trek: Starbase 777 - pinecone-place

The street was decorated for Christmas -- but like... a Japanese Christmas. Light up buckets of fried chicken (fake chicken, sorry) were strung from the street posts and the smell of fresh matcha and melted chocolate filled the air. The cool air was perfect for those who love the cold. The cobbled street looked long, but actually only had a couple of houses, with more to-be-built. The first house looked to be built in what one could only assume was a 'Brutulist' style. Grey monochrome outer walls with sharp angles. It seemed te architect had never heard of a circle before. Despite the more aggressive architecture style, the house was clearly in the jolly spirit. Christmas lights strung all around the perimeter with a few gnomes on the front lawn. Normal gnomes, not robot killer gnomes or something.

What strange architecture. It reminded him of the minimalism of many ships, but that style was borne of necessity, not choice. He wasn't sure why you would voluntarily make your house have all the extravagance of an abandoned self-driven cargo freighter. Not to say he was a maximalist, either, as someone who wore a plain black turtleneck most of the time off-duty, but he didn't decorate his room like his turtleneck, did he? "Anyone know what all the fried chicken is about?"

T'She had followed their captain to Pinecone Place, feeling quite the sense of nostalgia when they saw their surroundings. That was, of course, because of their upbringing. It reminded them of home, even if their family never really celebrated Christmas too seriously. It was still a nice surprise, and one that they were more than happy to see. "I'm not sure about the people who live here, but they may be following the Terran Japanese tradition involving fired chicken around this time of year, I would go into more detail but this is neither here nor there."

Vanik, hot blooded and used to the Vulcan desert, was chilly wherever the cool air touched his skin. That is to say, wherever his Starfleet Issue Winter Uniform didn't cover his face or pointy Vulcan ears or his round nose. The colder parts of his face were flushed a tinge green. "Fascinating village," Vanik muttered to the group as he caught up with them with a handful of long strides. All 6'5" of him appeared almost out of nowhere, his steps barely crunching in the snow. He was very light on his feet. "Hmm, that is fascinating, Lieutenant." he said, gazing down at the Captain. "I do not understand these references. I do recognize the scent of chocolate, however." He followed closely behind T'She and Cpt. Mo., one of the sacks slung over his shoulder. Vulcan strength!

As the group got closer, the eyes on the gnomes began lighting up... oh were they attack gnomes?

'Oh no, this can't be good,' T'She thought as she saw the eyes of the gnomes start to light up. "We should probably get out of the way," They advised as they thought of a good place to take cover and see what was happening.

Vanik whispered to the group, "Be careful. Those small bearded men's eyes are lit up. It appears they are operating on a motion sensor." And then he stepped to the side, testing their sensor range.

Christmas decorations were kind of known to light up, so it didn't really register as anything unusual to him. "If that's what your instincts tell you to do, then do it."

The gnomes didn't move, the eyes were just lit up so it was probably safe to just walk up to the house.

Vanik's face was almost neutral. A bit curious, maybe. He quietly walked up to the house and took a spot next to Captain Mo. There were only the faintest of crunching sounds as he walked gracefully through the crisp snow. He still thought the gnomes were kinda weird. What did tiny bearded men have to do with a winter holiday? Were they just retired elves?

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Doh wandered up behind the others, following their footsteps closely, looking at the gnomes with the faintest touch of a smile on her face. "I like the little bearded men. They are humorous." She slowly raised her head to look at the lights again. She was curious as to why anyone would eat fried chicken as a festive dish, she'd eaten it once and was not a fan. Perhaps it was a fault with the replicator, but it was far too greasy to be enjoyed.

T'She seemed a little embarrassed by their jump to conclusions, especially when it was revealed that these gnomes were probably nothing more than decorations. "May I inquire as to how we are going to get inside? I know that it is customary to leave presents under the tree, and I would hate to just leave them outside to get damaged." They said as they followed Vanik.

The front door was unlocked! There was only one window, sadly, but the house did have a chimney! An ugly chimney, but it existed if they wanted a 'traditional' entrance.

T'She decided to try the door, and if it was unlocked, they were ready to walk inside with the sack... while being sneaky and all that as to not cause anyone any alarm. "Shall we go inside? I advise being... stealthy... about this. We are not who is expected this night, and we might cause alarm if we are spotted."

the front door was indeed unlocked!

Vanik nodded simply and rearranged the sack on his shoulder to make sure it wasn't making any loud noises or wouldn't bump into the doorframe when he followed T'She inside. "Lead the way, Lieutenant. I will follow closely behind."

The inside of the house was just as Brutalist as the outside. Grey walls, grey furniture. It looked like the inside of a jail cell, not a home. There were some random pylons scattered throughout the house as supports. Christmas lights were strung all around the perimeter of the entrance lobby. There was what appeared to be a family portrait of a parent and a child, both Cardassian. So... if anyone knew about Cardassian physiology, their hearing was probably shit.

Vanik walked into the room, checking around to make sure no one was there. He noticed the photograph of the parent and child and pointed with one long index finger and whispered to his team. "If this photograph is of any indication, this home may only contain two occupants. They are Cardassian." Vanik was not fond of the architecture, though he did not say it aloud. He did not want to be rude.

He was a little disappointed they hadn't had to figure out how to get down the chimney, but he was also glad to not have to climb onto the roof. He didn't have the grip strength for that, though he didn't have a lot of weight to lift, either. Maybe someone could have just chucked him up there. "What do Cardassians traditionally like to receive as gifts in contexts like these?" Did they have a winter festival?

T'She nodded, a little glad that they might not be caught right away. "Shall we get to the gift giving? There must be designated gifts in this sack..."

Vanik raised an eyebrow at his team, moving to pull the sack off his shoulder before stopping because he remembered something absolutely crucial. "I believe we must find the tree and cookies first." (edited)

There were cookies! Set out in the kitchen, they were matcha cookies! Matcha chocolate chip cookies, vulcanioid safe because the family obviously did not want to make santa drunk if he couldn't enjoy chocolate. There were no traps or anything, just a plate of hot fresh cookies.

Doh slowly entered the house behind them and quietly examined the picture. Yep, those were certainly Cardassians. She stood up straight and turned to look into the sack. "Perhaps a name tag or gift wrapping will give away which gifts are to be left here."

Vanik made a very low humming noise, considering his options. What did his roommate tell him about how Santa Claus gives gifts? Had they already done it wrong by entering through the front door? "I will open the bag and search, but maybe we can determine if the family name is listed somewhere in this room so that I can identify the correct tags?"

"I will check for any any documents with names, perhaps there is some incoming mail that could help." T'She said quietly as they went to search the room for any names or anything that could help them in their quest.

The gifts were labelled with the house number and the names, very easy to identify! Also the gifts for the two Cardassians were very angular, to match the house.

"I sense a pattern... No, an aesthetic here." He put one of the gifts under the tree.

Well, at least they did not have to look for anymore names going forward. They were curious about something, and that was if it would be alright to eat one of the matcha cookies. They were not Santa Claus, and usually only Santa Claus was allowed to eat the cookies! "Should... we eat these...?" They asked, almost shy.

"Yep. Actually, we have to. As far as I remember, the Christmas tradition is that Santa eats the cookies, so if they found them uneaten, they'd be kind of disappointed - and maybe suspicious. Usually there's milk, too." Did Cardassians drink milk? Maybe it would be Snilk.

it was snilk. Warm snilk was with the cookies.

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His dark eyes brightened seeing the snilk. Fun fact: 'twas a Ferengi invention, collected from the slime trails of fattest and juiciest of Snilkslugs. "Dibs on the snilk." (edited)

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Vanik took one of the Very Angular™️ gifts out of the sack and gingerly placed it under the Christmas tree. He thought it was very considerate of Santa to decorate these gifts with their recipients in mind. “I will help you eat the cookies.” He said, and reached out, grabbing a pretty green one and taking a nice chomp out of it. A bite which he almost spat out when the Captain said the word “snilk.” He coughed, then swallowed hard and stared at the captain with a lone raised eyebrow.

He raised an eyebrow back. He wasn't fluent in Vulcan, but he WAS fluent in Vulcan Eyebrow Raise. His meant 'what? That's what it's called.' "I don't really want any of the cookies, though."

She quietly examined the interior of the house. "Snilk and cookies? I will pass on both personally." It seemed rather cozy to her.

“Hmmm,” Vanik simply nodded once at the Captain’s wordless explanation and polished off the rest of his matcha cookie. It was quite good. He could perhaps feel a sense of the Christmas Spirit weaseling into him. Maybe there was something to this after all. Something he couldn’t explain.

"May I have one of the cookies? They look absolutely delicious," T'She said as they reached for one of the cookies, not waiting for an answer before they ate one in small bites.

“They are good.” Vanik nodded and took a step to the side so T’She could get to the plate.

What was Rii doing the entire time? They were bringing up the rear! Telepathic reindeer, Santa Claus, it all made Rii get into the jolly festive spirit that is the Human holiday of Christmas! They glanced around and saw the group getting Snilk and Cookies! Rii yoinked one of the cookies left and ate them. "Interesting home" They said to the group, trying to be quiet. (edited)

The cookies were quite delicious, but T'She wanted to get to the next house. "Shall we move on to the next house?"

The next house was right next door, how convenient!

He snipped on the snilk. "Grab the cookies 'n let's move." Lord knows how they were going to eat so many cookies when there were even more in the other house.

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Doh frowned slightly at the suggestion to take all the cookies when they left. "Would it not be more polite to leave the cookies behind? I am certain other houses will have similar treats." (edited)

He shook his head, opening the door. "Nope. Like I said, you gotta eat 'em or they'll wonder why Santa rejected their baked gift."

Rii looked to Doh as they added to what Mo said."It's an ancient earth custom. Not taking the baked goods tells them that Santa didn't come," They tried to inform the officer moving to the next house with the group.

T'She took some of the cookies, agreeing that it was for the best to keep the illusion of Santa alive, and then they moved to the next house with everyone else.

Vanik helped T’She take the rest of the cookies and followed the group to the next house. “I am curious about what we will find next.”

The next house was situated next to the first, this house was painted a very bright pink, quite the contrast from the Cardassian home. The house had white fluffy snow decor with Christmas lights strung all around and the doors were no taller than 3 ft high. The front door was locked anyway, but there was indeed a chimney, which was probably the largest entrance of the house. There was a candycane ladder on the side of the house, how convenient!

He laughed at the sight of it, approaching the ladder but not yet climbing it. "Any of you lot got a sweet tooth? I think this house is your dream. Up the ladder we go, then. Captain's orders."

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Rii loved the next house, all decked out for Christmas! Once they heard the orders, Rii nodded as they said."I got it, Captain." They moved and climbed up the ladder and, once up on the roof, checked down the chimney to ensure it was safe to jump down (edited)

The chimney was all clear! No fire lit so don't worry you could jump down! It was a little warm so maybe try and jump feet first, not dive or going ass first.

Vanik stopped in his tracks when he realized the house was so small. How was he going to get inside? A very good question for someone who was 6'5"... Kind of like if an elf was way too tall, even though he had pointed ears. "Captain, I am unsure if I will be able to stand in this home..." He muttered, though he did follow the noticeably shorter red-haired captain up the adorable candycane ladder anyway, taking two or three rungs for every movement.

To make it easier on Rii, they detached their torso and went down the torso first!! Having little hands that came out helped slow them down. They kept their lower half waiting patiently by the top of the chimney.

The interior of the house was just as pink and fun as the rest of the house. There was a portrait of the family hanging near the fireplace, a family of 4 Galardonians, three kids and one parent. The reason the house was so small was because the occupants were all under 3 ft! How cute! Thankfully the ceilings were pretty high, but the stockings, the tree, even the mini-fridge was mini'd! There was also a single roomba roaming about the floor with a santa hat on. It projected a laser grid in front of it, easily visible with red lights. Above the fireplace were the four stockings each with their names, Fifer, Fiddler, and Practical, were the children, and the parent was named P'ork Ch'opps. There was also a tree with multiple glasses of snilk all on a small table. Like so much snilk, the family clearly thought Santa was a snilk drinking champion or something. There was some food too, hot fresh brownies on two plates. One was marked 'fun brownies' and the other 'normal brownies'.

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Doh quietly followed the group up the ladder, a little surprised it was capable of taking their weight, even if it wasn't all at once. At first glance it seemed it would break easily. "Self bisection is certainly a unique skill."

Vanik slid down the chimney carefully after XO Rii had gotten through, being saved at the bottom by both his very long legs and Christmas Magic. Or something to that effect. He squatted down very low, his very tall knees up to his chest and he squeezed out into the very cute, pink room. "Oh," Vanik said softly, a bit overwhelmed by the color. "This place is very....'cute'." He raised an eyebrow and brought himself and the bag of gifts toward the tree, letting the other scout out the snilk situation.

The little roomba rolled around on the ground, getting closer to the team as it ate up all the little dust on the floor.

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Vanik, basically duck-walking because he was too tall to staind up straight in this Galardonian house, almost stepped on the roomba and in an effort to avoid it, mistepped, and fell onto his butt next to it. "I apologize, small vacuum." He said, and patted it. What else was an engineer supposed to do?

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The roomba began to play -- Mariah Carey's iconic 'All I want for Christmas' -- music box jingle version! It wasn't too loud, but definitely audible enough that the entire tiny house could hear it.

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Soon as everyone else was up the ladder, he climbed up it himself and jumped quite confidently down the chimney. "Hmmm. Fun brownies. I'm not eatin' those." He didn't want to get high in front of the crew, if those were the kind of fun brownies he thought they were, but he kind of wanted someone else to, though, just to see what would happen. "Let me deal with this. You folks distribute the gifts." He'd had to repair his little roomba a few times, so he was well-acquaintanted with its buttons and inner workings. He crouched near the roomba, trying to discern what button he'd have to push to turn the music off.

Vanik stared at the roomba for a moment, when the Captain appeared next to him and seemed like he was going to turn it off. Had Vanik pressed a button? Only Surak knew. He made a quiet humming noise and then brought himself back up onto the balls of his feet so he could duck waddle the rest of the way to the Christmas tree, and opened the bag and started looking for the appropriate gifts. He would eat brownies only after he had completed his task.

The roomba was a standard Federation style roomba. Not very complex. A few more seconds of playing the song the music stopped and said 'I need to charge, bring me back to the dock' multiple times. The dock was in the kitchen area, next to the extra mini fridge. There was also an 'off' button on the bottom.

He brought the little guy into the kitchen to charge. If the song wasn't going to keep playing, he saw no need to turn it off.

Rii slid their torso to the brownies as they ate a fun brownie, trusting the others to complete the task. Rii was filled with the Christmas spirit, and They trusted these Galardonians to make an exciting brownie! What could happen?

They were weed brownies indeed! Very fun!

The roomba was returned, now all that was left was to drink all the snilk and put presents in the stockings and under the tree.

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He understood what he needed to do. No, what he was born to do. He picked up a glass of snilk... And drank the whole thing in one go. "Anyone else want some? It's good."

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T'She had been watching the whole time, unsure where to really go or what to really do, they did have a smile on their face -- albeit an almost imperceptible one -- and they were really getting into the spirit, even if they didn't show it. They did approach the sack to put the presents under the tree, one for each occupant.

"No thank you," the squatting Vulcan said as he dug around in the Santa Sack to grab the gifts for the Galardonian family. Would the wrapping paper be pink too? He felt around until he found them.

The wrapping paper was pink! Also one of the presents was wrapped in.. rapping paper. There were rap bars/verses written on it! The gift was the latest recording microphone, clearly one of the kids was an up and coming rap star.

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Rii finished their fun brownies. This wasn't their first time having weed, but doing it on duty was a first! Rii has been with the Federation for a while now. However, the brownies made them quite thirsty. So Rii moved to drink some snilk to wash it down. "This one will have some snilk!" With that, they picked up a glass and drank it.

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Doh caved to the festivities and quietly shuffled over to the table to take a glass of snilk. It tasted better than she had expected. "May I inquire as to what exactly 'fun' brownies are?" She posed the question at the same time as she reached for one and took a small bite. Though, being an android, there wouldn't be any real side effects from eating one.

Vanik did not much care for milk in general, let alone milk from a snail. He elected not to drink any, but did take a brownie. He had a few cookies from the previous house and sandwiched one of the brownies between two cookies and ate it like a Christmas Treat Sandwich. He may or may not have enjoyed sweets quite a lot. He also may or may not have accidentally taken a "fun" brownie without understanding the implications. He simply assumed there were sprinkles in or something.

"Wanna toast, number one?" Mo offered his second glass to Rii to clink.

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With the presents under the tree, T'She considered their work done, but they did not push to leave just yet, instead waiting for their fellow officers to finish up.

And it was time for the next and last house! Across the street!

Rii looked to the officer and informed them."The Fun brownies contain the psychotropic plant from Earth called weed; it has a calming effect, mostly." With that, Rii nodded to the captain, raising their own glass. "To...Santa?"*They offered, clinking the glass in the captain's hand before drinking the last bit of snilk. Then, they dragged themselves to the chimney. * (edited)

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Mid chew, Vanik's eyes got perceptibly larger. He swallowed his bite, looking down at his brownie-cookie sandwich, then back up at the XO, then back at the brownie-cookie sandwich and stopped eating. It would not becoming of an officer to be affected by psychotropic drugs on duty. He put the brownie and cookie back in his pocket and hoped the effects would not set in until later. "I see...." He said, and followed the group to the chimney to leave.

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Clink. "To Santa. Who is apparently real. On this colony, anyway." Wasn't he originally a mascot for some old brand? The power of the old megacorps was remarkable. They could create myth itself. It would be cool if they weren't all evil. Anyway, he would be the last to leave, considering all the snilk he had to drink.

The next house was across the street and it looked like a big PILL BUG! A roly-poly, a little bug! But it was normal sized for a house. It did look like a big dome, very cool!

After drinking all his snilk, he followed everyone else up the chimney at a slow pace, but it increased when he saw the house. "I swear on the flow of the great material continuum, is that a fuckin' isopod?" Was it his birthday already?

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an isopod it was!

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"A fascinating domicile," T'She offered softly as they looked at the dome-shaped house. They were ready to enter, but were looking for a way in the moment they were back out of the chimney.

"Maybe there's a button we can press to make it uncurl." He looked for said button.

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There was indeed a button on the side of the house.

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Pressy pressy.

And the lil isopod house uncurled with the entrance being lit up and ready for the team! There was a small 'caution, low gravity' sign right beside the door.

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Rii had reattached themselves and went to the next house, which they thought was a unique home—a pill bug home! When it unfurled, Rii saw the warning and tried the front door, attempting to open it.

The front door was open! But once you stepped in, the gravity suddenly decreased and you'd be floating, wheee!

T'She entered the low gravity environment and looked around, hoping to find the tree and maybe some snacks that were left out for the Santas.

"Oh, that is quite fascinating architecture." Vanik said, his voice almost emotive. He followed T'She into the low grav, his steps a bit bouncier than before, and looke dfor the tree too!

Inside the home there was what appeared to be some sort of laser security system so.. .you'd have to float in and out of the lasers to reach the christmas trees -- which were on the walls and had... FEET? The trees were walking around. There were thankfully some hand rails so one could grab onto something. The family had a portrait on the wall; they were low-gravity loving aliens, 2 parents and one teenage child. (edited)

He took a moment just to admire the house before he stepped inside. "They must have done some serious architectural engineering to get the house to unfold like that." He took a moment to observe the walking trees, looking for a pattern to their movement.

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The trees were just walking up and down the walls, nothing crazy. The lasers were also simple, just up and down.

He was decently agile; he could make this attempt by himself, but... "Relem, you'd be the smallest of us if you detached all your parts, correct? And it would be easiest for you to avoid the lasers?" (edited)

Rii looked at it as they nodded. "Correct, Captain! I can easily detach and float over; hand me some presents, and I can finish the house-"Rii detached their hand and floated over to quickly test the method. (edited)

The lasers were a little narrow for humanoids, but for detached parts it would be a breeze!

"Give them the presents, then," he said to whoever had them.

The gift sack was floating too! so the gifts could just be gently pushed towards the Commander.

Gentl push...

Rii grabbed their hand, which floated back, and the sack as they dug for the Illyrian presents quickly. They should be some of the last presents!

With the gifts placed, the lasers shut off and out of the wall popped a thank you card with a plate of hot sugar cookies and... MORE SNILK! There was some flavour packets too if one wanted to have flavoured snilk.

Vanik was there too, helping with the gifts. When the lasers shut off, he floated across the room with his hands outstretched in front of him as if he were flying, and grabbed a sugar cookie. He was feeling a bit hungry, maybe even munchie.

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"Excellent work, number one." But how was he going to drink all this snilk in low gravity?

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The snilk was in pouches, like capri-sun or those milk in bags they sell in southern asia on earth

02:54

pouches with a bendy straw!

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Well, ok so maybe he was getting a little thirsty. Vanik decided it couldn't hurt to try a little snilk. He grabbed a pouch, popped in the straw, and took a big gulp. "That is far more refreshing than I would have expected." He was whispering, but like, too loudly.

"Right? It's refreshing, creamy, and a little sweet." He snipped his snilk from the snouch. (edited)

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With the gifts gifted, the team was free to go to #winter-woodland to report their success!

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